by Mary Laughlin

The clients that I am privileged to sit with each week are some of the bravest people I know – not only because they have reached out for help, but oftentimes because they want to pass along healthy legacies to their children and families. They desire more joyful living and often come to realize that the only way out of their pain is through it. 

This is no secret for professional counselors, however, as many enter the field to help guide others through the journey they have also walked through. They have tasted the freedom, peace, and beauty on the other side and desire to help others along this path…even when it means forgiving the people who once caused them harm. 

Forgiveness is often part of the therapeutic work because it’s much easier to hold onto- instead of work through- the pain that has been with them for many years. Clients with unprocessed emotions may start to notice themselves growing irritable, or taking out their frustration on those around them. The smallest things can set them off. Sometimes there is chronic pain. All of these symptoms point to the emotions that have been long held in the body. 

However, there has been ample research on the power of forgiveness as part of the remedy. While people of many different faith traditions are often familiar with the notion of forgiveness, it’s not just for those with certain convictions. According to Dr. Robert Enright, a professor of psychology at University of Wisconsin and founder of Forgiveness Therapy, forgiveness can also be for those who are not a part of faith communities. True forgiveness, he states, “requires us to offer something positive towards the person who hurt you- such as empathy, compassion, or understanding” (Weir, 2017)- and that’s available for people of all faith backgrounds. 

The first step toward this work is to be aware of our own negative thinking and how that may be affecting the quality of our lives. Have you ever found yourself thinking or saying one of the following? 

1. “If I hope for less, then I won’t be disappointed.” After all, if you believe that something won’t work out, then maybe you can protect yourself from getting hurt. While this cynicism may have protected you for a while, it can slowly turn into distrust, and affect our ability to connect with others. 
2. “I will never be able to forgive them”. While bitterness can sometimes seem like self-protection, it can also lead to isolation. 
3. “I’ll just make them feel as bad as I do.” This thinking can also quickly turn to behaviors that deceive us in thinking that vindication will make us feel better. 

At The Pursuit, a group of experienced therapists have come together to offer best in class counseling services. We prioritize clinical theory, non-judgmental approaches, and effective interventions, treatment plans, and coping skills.

We have therapists who specialize in different areas and we strive to find the best match for your unique needs. Our services cater to individuals, families, and organizations, including adolescents in high school. We aim to connect you with the specialist who can best address your concerns. Our specialized  counseling services aim to address the underlying emotional wounds that contribute to behaviors. We offer evidence-based counseling that is effective with working many presenting problems. We provide a holistic approach to recovery, focusing on healing the past to create a healthier future.
Are you ready to take the first step on your Pursuit towards a happier, healthier you? We invite you to book your free 20-minute consultation with one of our skilled therapists. Don’t wait; it’s time to invest in your well-being. Simply  Book Now to start your Pursuit towards personal growth and positive change today.