THE CLIMB

Trauma doesn’t live in isolation; it moves through families like an invisible thread, tying one generation’s pain to the next. At The Pursuit Counseling, we believe in uncovering these patterns and helping families heal together. Intergenerational trauma is the psychological impact of trauma passed from one generation to the next, often leaving emotional and relational scars that linger long after the original events. By exploring how this trauma begins and how it can be addressed, we aim to empower families to pursue healthier futures.

What is Intergenerational Trauma?

Intergenerational trauma is more than just a concept—it’s a lived experience that shapes families in profound ways. It often shows up as emotional triggers, relational struggles, and unprocessed grief that echo through family systems. Trauma is passed down in several ways:

• Modeled Behaviors: Children learn emotional and behavioral patterns from parents or caregivers who may not have resolved their own trauma.
• Biological Impacts: Epigenetics shows that trauma can alter stress responses at a biological level, impacting future generations.
• Silence and Secrecy: Unspoken or hidden stories about family pain can leave children with a sense of unease or confusion, shaping their emotional lives.

Family Systems Theory: Trauma as a Relational Experience

Family Systems Theory helps us understand trauma as a relational experience. Families function as interconnected systems, where one member’s experiences influence the whole. Dysfunctional patterns—such as rigid roles, scapegoating, or enmeshment—often emerge as families attempt to cope with unresolved trauma.

A Case Example

Consider a mother who experienced neglect as a child. Her unresolved trauma might lead her to overprotect her own children, unintentionally stifling their autonomy. This pattern can create anxiety or dependency in the children, perpetuating a cycle of emotional challenges.

Implications for Healing

Therapy rooted in Family Systems Theory helps uncover these patterns and break cycles of dysfunction. By addressing relational dynamics and fostering healthy boundaries, families can work toward healing together.

EMDR: Addressing Trauma’s Unfinished Business

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a powerful tool for processing trauma, including intergenerational trauma. EMDR helps clients access and reprocess unprocessed traumatic memories, allowing them to gain insight into how past events affect their present lives and relationships.

Application to Intergenerational Trauma

EMDR can be especially effective in addressing inherited narratives. For example, a client who carries shame tied to their family’s history of loss or displacement can reprocess these emotions and distinguish them from their own lived experiences. By doing so, they break free from the emotional burdens of previous generations.

Judith Herman’s Stages of Trauma Recovery

Judith Herman’s framework for trauma recovery offers a roadmap for healing intergenerational trauma. The three stages—safety, remembrance and mourning, and reconnection—provide a structure for addressing both individual and familial trauma.

Safety

Creating safety is the foundation of healing. Families often need to establish emotional stability and trust before they can confront deeper issues.

Remembrance and Mourning

This stage involves processing past trauma and acknowledging its impact on the family. It includes uncovering family secrets and mourning the pain of previous generations.

Reconnection

The final stage focuses on building a new sense of self and redefining family roles. It’s about creating a healthier legacy and breaking the cycle of trauma.

Insights from Galit Atlas’s Emotional Inheritance

Galit Atlas’s work highlights how trauma is passed down not just through stories but also through the unspoken and unconscious. Emotional inheritance includes shame, fear, or unresolved longings that children internalize from their parents.

Naming the Unspoken

Therapy creates a space to articulate what has been silenced. By naming the unspoken, families can begin to heal.

Recognizing Emotional Patterns

Identifying how inherited feelings shape current relationships is key to breaking the cycle of trauma. As Atlas states, “What isn’t spoken about in a family can shape who we are just as much as what is.”

How Intergenerational Trauma Shows Up in Our Relationships

Intergenerational trauma can profoundly affect our current relationships, often in subtle yet damaging ways. Here are some common ways it shows up:

1. Attachment Issues

• Avoidance or Clinginess: Unresolved trauma in past generations can create insecure attachment styles, leading to difficulties in trusting others or fearing abandonment.
• Emotional Unavailability: Patterns of emotional suppression passed down may lead to difficulty expressing or receiving love and support.

2. Communication Struggles

• Conflict Avoidance: Families that avoided discussing painful topics may pass on a pattern of silence, leading to unaddressed issues in relationships.
• Explosive Responses: Alternatively, heightened emotional responses to minor triggers may reflect inherited stress or trauma.

3. Control Dynamics

• Over-Control or Micromanagement: Trauma related to loss of control in previous generations may lead to a need to dominate or micromanage relationships.
• Power Struggles: Inherited patterns of dominance or submission can create friction in partnerships.

4. Unrealistic Expectations

• Perfectionism: Families that demanded high performance to avoid failure may instill pressure to meet unattainable standards, straining relationships.
• Fear of Disappointment: A deeply rooted fear of letting others down can result in codependent or people-pleasing behaviors.

5. Emotional Reactivity

• Generational Triggers: Certain behaviors, words, or situations can evoke disproportionate emotional responses tied to unresolved family trauma.
• Projection: Carrying unprocessed trauma may lead individuals to project their fears or anxieties onto their partners or children.

6. Lack of Boundaries

• Enmeshment: Families affected by trauma often blur boundaries, creating difficulty in setting healthy limits in current relationships.
• Isolation: Conversely, previous familial patterns may lead to shutting others out to avoid vulnerability.

7. Patterns of Neglect or Over-Involvement

• Neglect: If emotional needs were ignored in prior generations, individuals may struggle to meet their partner’s or children’s needs.
• Over-Involvement: Overcompensating for perceived past neglect can lead to smothering or overbearing behaviors.

8. Fear of Vulnerability

• Emotional Walls: Trauma can teach individuals to guard themselves, making it hard to connect deeply with loved ones.
• Fear of Intimacy: Inherited fears of betrayal or rejection can prevent meaningful connections.

By addressing these inherited patterns through therapy, such as EMDR or family systems approaches, individuals can begin to rewrite their relational scripts, fostering healthier, more fulfilling connections.

A Client’s Journey: Healing Through The Pursuit Counseling

At The Pursuit Counseling, we often work with clients who feel stuck in patterns they can’t explain. One client, Sarah (name changed for privacy), came to us struggling with chronic anxiety and relationship challenges. Through therapy, we uncovered that Sarah’s grandmother had fled a war-torn country, and her mother grew up in a household filled with unspoken fears and survival-driven behaviors.

Sarah’s mother never spoke about her childhood, but her overprotectiveness and emotional distance reflected the trauma she carried. Sarah had internalized these dynamics, feeling both overly responsible for others and disconnected from her own needs.

Using EMDR, Sarah reprocessed the inherited fear and guilt tied to her family’s history. She began to recognize that her anxiety was not just her own but a legacy passed down through generations. Through Family Systems Therapy, she worked on setting healthy boundaries and redefining her role in her family. By the end of her journey, Sarah felt more grounded, connected, and free to pursue a life not defined by her family’s past.

Breaking the Cycle: The Pursuit of Healing

Healing intergenerational trauma requires courage and commitment. It’s about building self-awareness, engaging in therapy, and creating new family narratives that emphasize growth and connection.

At The Pursuit Counseling, we guide individuals and families through this transformative process. Using evidence-based practices like EMDR and systemic approaches, we help clients break free from inherited pain and pursue healthier, more fulfilling lives.

Intergenerational trauma may shape a family’s past, but it doesn’t have to define its future. Healing is a pursuit worth taking—for yourself and for the generations to come.

At The Pursuit, we believe in empowering you to live your best life. Located near Town at Trilith and Trilith Studios, our team of skilled therapists is dedicated to providing exceptional, personalized counseling services. Whether you’re seeking support for life transitions, anxiety, trauma, or personal growth, we prioritize evidence-based strategies, compassion, and tailored treatment plans to meet your unique needs.
Your journey toward a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life begins here. Ready to take the first step? Click “Book Now” to start your Pursuit of meaningful change and personal growth.
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