Do you struggle with advocating for yourself to your family, friends, and co-workers? Learning how to have difficult conversations is an important skill to learn. By having necessary conversations we will be healthier as a community.

How to Have Conversations

I, Adam Glendye LPC, CPCS, was raised in “the low-country” of Georgia and my parents, teachers, and coaches encouraged me to “be nice to others and they will be nice to you”. This mantra served me well over the years and it helped me learn how to be nice and respectful.

However, learning how to have difficult conversations was not my best-trained or executed conversational skill. So, here are some helpful tips that have served me well over the last few decades.

Be Interested Before Being Interesting

In Dale Carnegie’s timelessly famous book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, he discusses that the most successful people demonstrate that they are genuinely interested in the person they are talking to before they begin to be interesting to that person. Learning how to ask questions of the other person about what is important to them, their background, their beliefs, and what inspires them will go a long way in building necessary rapport.

Listen to understand, not to respond

As a Professional Counselor, we spend most of our time in sessions working to understand our client’s. We believe that the HOW in the process is the easiest part of our work with our clients; however, the most necessary part of the session time is the time we spend listening to understand the WHAT and WHY that leads to our client’s thought processes and actions in their lives.

When we do respond, we respond with the information from the what and why and help our clients figure out the how to address their concerns. You do not need to be a Professional Counselor in order to perform the same listening strategy for those you care about.

It is normal and okay to still like someone even if you do not agree on every belief system

I feel like I need to write a blog like this on a daily basis. If we spend more than 20 seconds on a mainstream media network or social media app we will quickly see negativity toward other people. It is easy to internalize that negativity toward other people and if we get enough negativity toward others it can quickly turn into hatred or disgust with that person or group.

However, I am here to let you know that it is NECESSARY to still be open to liking someone who believes differently than you do. Innovation, growth, and opportunity in our pursuits comes from being challenged by different thoughts and ideas from others.

Model the vulnerability you want to see from others

If you find yourself thinking, “others don’t open up to me”, this might be a helpful time to reflect on how much you open up to other people. Brene Brown speaks about the idea of modeling the vulnerability you want to see from others as a great way to provide engaged feedback.

Healthy Conversations

We hope that these tips and the YouTube video are a great resource for you as you learn how to have healthy conversations with friends, family, colleagues, and your community.

At The Pursuit, a group of experienced therapists have come together to offer best-in-class counseling services. We prioritize clinical theory, non-judgmental approaches, and effective interventions, treatment plans, and coping skills. We have therapists who specialize in different areas and we strive to find the best match for your unique needs. Are you ready to take the first step in your Pursuit towards a happier, healthier you? We invite you to book your free 20-minute consultation with one of our skilled therapists. Don’t wait; it’s time to invest in your well-being. Simply Book Now to start your Pursuit toward personal growth and positive change today. Keep reading if you want to learn more about Anxiety Therapy