Raising a teenager is both exhilarating and overwhelming. One moment, you’re amazed at how effortlessly they navigate new technology, and the next, you’re wondering if you’ve completely lost control over their screen time, social media, and online safety. If you feel a mix of excitement, concern, and total cluelessness about setting boundaries around tech use—you’re not alone. The good news? You don’t have to have all the answers, but you do need a plan. Let’s talk about how to set healthy, realistic boundaries that support your teen’s growth while keeping them safe in our ever-evolving world.
Technology is woven into the fabric of our daily lives, shaping how we communicate, learn, and entertain ourselves. For teens, social media and smartphones are often more than just tools—they’re spaces for connection, self-expression, and even identity formation. But as research shows, excessive tech use can come at a cost, and often to the very same things they use it for in the first place.
Jonathan Haidt’s book, The Anxious Generation, highlights some key findings:
- Teen mental health issues have risen in correlation with increased smartphone and social media use.
- Girls often struggle with social comparison and cyberbullying, while boys are more prone to digital addiction.
- Heavy social media use (3+ hours per day) is a significant risk factor for anxiety and depression.
According to a study conducted by the Pew Research Center in September of 2024, both teens and parents cited that social media “made it more difficult to be a teenager”:
With this in mind, how can we support teens in navigating the digital landscape in a way that fosters connection rather than isolation?
Lately, our team at The Pursuit Counseling has been discussing ways we can support both parents and teens alike in this area. While each family is unique, we came up with a few guidelines based on our experiences with the families we see in our office.
Setting Healthy Boundaries With Your Teen
Be Honest and Kind
Start by taking inventory of your teen’s (and your own!) screen time habits. Are there patterns that raise concern? Consider their developmental stage, gender, and sibling dynamics when evaluating social media use.
Consider Everything an Experiment
Boundaries don’t have to be rigid or permanent. Try small adjustments—such as screen-free dinners, limited social media hours, or even a digital detox for a set period of time—to see what works best for your family. Know that it is rare to “get it right the first time” so release yourself from the pressure of getting it right and keeping it right.
Lead with Curiosity
Instead of laying down rigid rules, engage your teen in open conversations about their tech use. Ask them how social media impacts their mood, how it’s used at school, or what trends they notice. Over time, it could be helpful to share what you are noticing, as well.
Create a Plan Together
Empower your teen by co-creating boundaries. Ask: What’s reasonable? What’s the next right step? When teens feel involved, they are more likely to respect and follow the guidelines. One of the questions that I (Mary) come back to is “In light of what I know now and what I want for the future, what is the wise thing to do?”
Clarify Trust and Consequences
Every family is different, and so is the approach to rules and accountability. What does trust look like in your home? Discuss clear expectations and consequences while fostering open communication. Brene Brown has an acronym called BRAVING (Boundaries, Responsibility, Accountability, Vault, Non-Judgement, and Generosity) that we often use in our sessions with clients to assess how they are showing up in their relationships. Check out the video below to learn more…and maybe to assess how you are showing up, too.
The Opposite of (tech) Addiction is Connection
If we want to help teens develop a healthy relationship with technology, one thing that we can do is offer fulfilling real-world connections. Try:
- Walks together
- Cooking or baking as a family
- Game nights or trivia competitions
- Shared hobbies, from gardening to music
- Shoulder-to-shoulder activities like attending sports events or doing yard work
- Community Service projects
When to Seek Professional Help…anytime!
Seeking professional help isn’t just for moments of crisis—it can be a proactive and healthy part of everyday life. Just as we visit doctors for regular check-ups or seek coaches to improve skills, therapy can provide valuable support for navigating life’s challenges.
Consider reaching out for support if you or your teen are experiencing:
- Increased stress, anxiety, or difficulty managing emotions
- Struggles with setting or maintaining boundaries around tech and social media
- Withdrawal from family, friends, or once-enjoyed activities
- Mood swings, frustration, or frequent emotional outbursts
- Changes in sleep or eating habits
- Avoidance of responsibilities or social situations
Therapy isn’t about “fixing” something broken—it’s about having a space to process emotions, build resilience, and strengthen relationships. If you’ve ever thought, I wish I could talk to someone about this, or I want something different for my family than what I had growing up, that’s reason enough to seek support.
By normalizing therapy and emotional well-being as a regular part of life, we help teens (and ourselves) see that seeking help isn’t a sign that something is wrong with us, but something that’s right with us. It’s an investment in growth, connection, and a healthier future.
For further reading…
www.dhs.gov/know2protect/take-action
At The Pursuit, we believe in empowering you to live your best life. Located in Fayetteville, GA near Town at Trilith and Trilith Studios, our team of skilled therapists is dedicated to providing exceptional, personalized counseling services. Whether you’re seeking support for life transitions, anxiety, trauma, or personal growth, we prioritize evidence-based strategies, compassion, and tailored treatment plans to meet your unique needs.Want to start your Pursuit of meaningful change and personal growth with Counseling in Fayetteville, GA?
Continue reading to explore how The Pursuit can help you navigate life’s challenges with confidence and clarity.
