They talked for hours.
Conversation flowed easily—about fears, dreams, childhood memories, and things they’d never shared with anyone else. There was laughter, deep emotional connection, and undeniable chemistry. Being together felt natural, effortless, and alive.
But when it came to the future, the conversation stalled.
Plans were vague. Labels felt uncomfortable. There was closeness and desire—but no clear sense of direction. One partner hoped it would eventually turn into something more. The other insisted they were just “letting things be.”
In Sternberg’s triangle, this is a relationship rich in intimacy and passion, but missing commitment.
Emotionally and physically, the bond feels real. Deep. Significant. But without commitment, the connection exists in a fragile space—one where expectations are mismatched and security is never fully established.
Sternberg called this romantic love. It feels meaningful and intense, but without the stabilizing force of choice and long-term intention, it often creates anxiety. One person may feel deeply invested while the other enjoys the connection without anchoring it to the future.
In therapy, this dynamic often brings up painful questions:
Why does this feel so real if it isn’t going anywhere?
Am I asking for too much—or settling for too little?
A therapist helps slow the relationship down, not to end it, but to clarify it. They explore what commitment represents for each person—freedom, loss, safety, responsibility—and whether avoidance or fear is shaping the relationship more than intention.
Sometimes commitment grows once it’s named and explored. Other times, clarity reveals an incompatibility that passion and intimacy alone cannot overcome.
Either way, the work moves people out of ambiguity and into agency.
Love as a Living Triangle
Sternberg’s theory reminds us that love is not one feeling, but a dynamic balance. Relationships don’t fail because one point of the triangle is stronger than the others—they struggle when imbalance goes unnoticed or unaddressed.
Each version of love tells a story. And with awareness, support, and honesty, those stories can evolve—toward greater balance, or toward endings that honor what was real.
