As we move through the heart of the holiday season, our days often become crowded quickly. Work deadlines pile up. Family calendars fill. Personal and professional goals are rushing toward year-end. Invitations seem endless—office parties, friend gatherings, social clubs, neighborhood events.
Most of these are good things. Meaningful things.
And yet, this is exactly why the season can feel overwhelming.
One of the most important skills to practice—especially this time of year—is learning to say no to good things so that we can say yes to the best things. When everything feels important, having a clear framework helps us make decisions that align with our values rather than our guilt or fear of missing out.
Here is a simple way to think through priorities during the holiday season.
1. Physical and Mental Health
Start with the goals you set back in January. Physical fitness, mental health, emotional regulation, and healthy routines were likely chosen with intention and clarity before life became busy. These are not optional luxuries—they are the foundation that allows you to show up well everywhere else. Protect sleep, movement, nutrition, and practices that support your mental health.
2. Rest, Recovery, and Margin
Holidays often push people to exhaustion. Intentionally choosing rest—quiet mornings, walks, reading, prayer, reflection, or simply doing nothing—is not selfish. Margin allows you to enjoy the season rather than survive it. Without rest, even meaningful activities can become burdensome.
3. Spiritual and Inner Life
For many, this season carries spiritual significance. Time for reflection, worship, gratitude, journaling, or prayer helps anchor your decisions and re-center your values. When the inner life is nourished, choices become clearer and less reactive.
4. Family
Family events deserve priority. These are the relationships that often matter most long-term, even when they are imperfect or complicated. Being present with those closest to you is one of the most meaningful investments you can make during this season.
5. Primary Relationships
If applicable, protect time with your spouse or partner. While this may overlap with family, primary adult relationships often require intentional care during a season that pulls attention in many directions. Quality time matters more than quantity.
6. Core Work and Vocational Responsibilities
Not everything at work needs to be finished before December 31st. Focus on what truly must be completed and release what can wait. Distinguishing between essential responsibilities and optional extras helps reduce unnecessary stress. Communicate your plans for prioritization of tasks with your team and supervisors so you can all be on the same page. Remember, people have planned time off might hold up a project from being completed on the timeline you were hoping it to be finished. Again, you might need to let go of the timeline.
7. Social Clubs and Commitments
Social clubs, teams, or organizations you’ve committed time, energy, and finances to deserve thoughtful consideration. These commitments matter—but they don’t need to override health, family, or rest.
8. Friends
Friendships are important and worth celebrating. At the same time, it’s okay to accept that you may not see everyone this season. Healthy friendships can withstand postponed plans and will still be there in January. Go ahead and get a dinner or round of golf with your friends on the calendar for January.
9. Service and Generosity
Rather than saying yes to every request, consider choosing one intentional way to serve or give. Purposeful generosity is often more meaningful—and less draining—than overextending yourself.
10. Neighbors and Casual Invitations
It is okay to miss the neighborhood party or casual gathering with people you only see occasionally. These relationships can be nurtured later—perhaps over a meal, a walk, or a fire pit conversation in January.
11. Emotional and Mental Health Boundaries
The holidays can amplify grief, loss, stress, or loneliness. Pay attention to your emotional capacity. Sometimes the most important “no” is to situations that overwhelm you, even if they look harmless on the outside.
A Final Guiding Question
When deciding whether to say yes, it can help to pause and ask:
Does this activity move me toward health, connection, or meaning—or does it simply fill space?
The goal of the holiday season is not to attend everything. It’s to be present where it matters most. When we choose intentionally, we create space not only for others—but for ourselves.
